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About
20 years ago, we began to see a cultural shift
in the view of fatherhood. Movies like Mr.
Mom and Three Men and a Baby began
to reveal a softer side of men and their child-rearing
abilities -- and to raise the bar on fatherly
expectations. But how much of it is reality?
As
we salute Father's Day, we're taking a brief
look at how fatherhood has changed... and hasn't
changed. We've also got some
tips for dads and resources galore to make the
job easier.
Happy
Father's Day to all the dads out there!
See you
soon,
Ed and Mary Longanecker
Iris City Cleaners and Laundering Company |
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Khaki
Comfort Coupon!
No matter what Dad
wears all week long at work, he probably has
a favorite pair of khakis he slips into when
he gets home. Give him our best regards on Father's
Day with complimentary khaki cleaning. We'll
clean and professionally finish a pair of khakis
at no charge when you have $15 in regular drycleaning
done. (Include
first page of this e-mail with your order. Offer
expires June 25, 2005. Cannot be combined with
other offers.) |
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The
Brave
New World of
Fatherhood.
Whether
we like it or not, Hollywood and the media
have built a perception of what the "ideal"
father should be like. We compare our actual
father to that standard, for better or worse.
Men who are fathers
today have incredible pressure placed on them
to be Super Dad, just as women
are expected to be Super Moms.
If you watch
movies and read popular magazines today, you'd
get the impression that real dads
are involved in every aspect of child-rearing,
sensitive, creative disciplinarians and incredible
role models for their children. This sets the
bar so high that many men are not willing to
attempt any of it, which is a shame. Fatherhood
can be a tremendous experience -- if you put
the hype aside and just enjoy it.
The
"New" Dad
You'd
think that men had just discovered fatherhood
in the last few decades, and that spending time
with the kids is a radical new concept from
the close of the 20th Century.
In fact, the opposite
is true. Prior to the Industrial
Revolution, families lived primarily in rural
locations, and Dad was always around the kids
-- teaching them to milk cows, hunt, grow gardens
of real food, and showing them how to live by
example. When
society shifted from a rural to an urban industrialized
model, fathers became the breadwinners
and began to be away from home all day. It was
only then that mothers took over almost exclusive
care and raising of the children.
Today, we
have more leisure time, increased self-employment
and telecommuting options, and often both parents
work. The influential role of the father is
opening up again because the childcare duties
are being divided more evenly. The
bonus is that men are again discovering that
it's fun to be a dad, and kids benefit greatly.
"My
father used to play with my brother and me in
the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're
tearing up the grass.'
'We're not raising
grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're
raising boys'." -- Harmon
Killebrew, American baseball player. |
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The
Wonder
and the Joy
While
mothers have always had women friends to compare
notes with, men have been largely on their own
in learning the skills and tricks of good parenting.
Men used to keep their true thoughts about fatherhood
to themselves, but no more. In the internet
age, there is not only plenty of camaraderie
available, but great advice and realistic talk.
For
Fathers... and those who know them.
Plug "fatherhood" into
any search engine on the internet and you'll
have far more material than you can handle.
A growing percentage of it is crafted by men
for men, and it's brutally honest. For instance,
an article on www.dadmag.com
discusses "The Top Ten Surprises of Fatherhood"
-- including confusion, ambivalence, depression
(yes, dads get it, too), fear, changing family
dynamics, new kinds of love to learn, enforced
flexibility and a total change in conversational
topics. Written
by a father for other fathers, the article reinforces
the fact that it's normal to run the gamut in
emotions as a man settles into fatherhood, and
speaks volumes about the need to be real --
put aside the stereotypes and just live the
experience.
Other articles can
be found on baby-related websites, which used
to be strictly the domain of mother-oriented
material. "Five Myths of Fatherhood"
is featured on www.babycenter.com,
and helps expectant
dads to prepare for the most moving and incredible
experience of their lives -- raising a child.
If you are a father,
hope to be a father, or just want to encourage
a father you know, direct them to the information
that can make all the difference in their experience
of fatherhood this Father's Day. Here
are some great resources:
- Top
Ten Surprises of Fatherhood --
from dadmag.com.
- Five
Myths of Fatherhood -- from
babycenter.com.
- Books
for fathers -- from menstuff.org.
Includes dozens of titles, such as...
- Fatherhood:
Insight and wisdom from Great American
Fathers (historical).
- She's
had a Baby -- I'm Having a Meltdown.
- The
Stay-at-Home Dad Handbook
- Single
Father
- Many,
many more. All with
live links to the publisher and the
ability to purchase the books online
immediately.
Father's
Day shouldn't just be an "also ran" holiday
that backstops Mother's Day each year.
It's a time to salute and thank the men who
had as much to do with bringing us in to the
world as our mothers -- and who may need a little
encouragement along the way. This
year, celebrate Father's Day by encouraging
a father you know.
Happy
Father's Day! |
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We
are enormously appreciative of the opportunity
to share our weekly newsletters with you.
We feel that much of the content is valuable
for anyone who purchases fine clothing and is
interested in their preservations and cleaning.
Click on the symbol to the left if your
would like to send this and future newsletters
to a friend.
Thanks a million, Ed and Mary
The
Iris City Cleaners Connection is
a weekly news letter dedicated to the interest
of fine garment care, restoration, and conservation.
It is published in Mt Pleasant, Iowa by Iris
City Cleaners and is an extension of our services
described in www.iriscitycleaners.com
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